So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
