don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
