One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
