dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
