so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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