Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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