in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
