I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
