Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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