Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
