I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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