I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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