and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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