Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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