I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
