you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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