i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize