Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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