I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
