WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
