He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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