Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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