Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
