Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
