my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
do herpes really smell.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
