I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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