Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
