they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
