My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
