If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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