Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
