u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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