turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
