i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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