I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
