Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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