And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
