omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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