Non-Jews are for practice
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
