question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
