I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
