normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
