Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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