I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
