I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
