so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
