Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He passed out mid-signature
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
