so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
