This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
