At least make sure they are 18
Why
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
