It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
