Hey man sorry I got all grabby
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
