I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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