Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
