She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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